Also without a condition, huge numbers of people be worried about being hurt or hurting other people.
You state past hurtвЂќ that you wonder if him ignoring you and starting a new relationship very quickly is his way of вЂњprotecting himself/forgetting? we say, just how long is an item of sequence? It could be anger; it may be maybe not wanting a scene whether that is concern with his or her own behaviour/feelings/words or yours; it could be shutting out due to shame and pity; it might be trauma; it may be he has a parent/caregiver that aspects of this participation reminded him of. You must return to the line that is top: you described him to be вЂњavoidantвЂќ into the relationship and this means heвЂ™s bound to be avoidant out of it.
Lots of people bounce from relationship to relationship to prevent confronting the emotions that area at the conclusion of a relationship around loss and vulnerability but their obsЕ‚uga eris hurt that is past does completely connect with you. Yes, you will see some luggage allocation for just what continued him but believe me, he has plenty of other stuff in there too between you and.
This relationship had been triggering for the the two of you. Finally you had been both relating in unhealthy methods and which will have dragged each one of you down. That youвЂ™re no longer together as you already recognise, itвЂ™s the right thing.
ItвЂ™s hard enough whenever you have got a fear of abandonment but this is extremely heightened because of the BPD but without doubt there have been facets that pressed you on the advantage. You aren’t вЂњcrazyвЂќ. Did you state and do things which you regret? Yes but that hasnвЂ™t? Acknowledge the various experiences along your journey which have led one to this juncture. Involve some compassion not merely for the current self but in addition for the people more youthful variations of you which have been dismissed as вЂњcrazyвЂќ or вЂњneedyвЂќ.